date: -- 6/25/25 --
mood:fucked
watching: Caspa & Rusko - FabricLive. 37 (Dubstep) (2007)
Do you miss me? I am taking a break from IG right now because, it has my whole entire brain! It was like 4 days in a row where it was just really bad reels and I would just keep looking and looking for a good one but, I would just end up spending hours on it lmao. The other day someone asked 'What you been watchin' and I was straight up like 'I been watching reels only' because, its the fucking truth! I'm not reading or watching any of those shows or movies. (I'm actually binging the 2007 90210 rn and it's SO GOOD) but, anyways. I think people don't wanna be honest with their internet addiction sometimes. I will say it straight up I have a problem but, the internet has ALWAYS been my hobby/life. I was literally poppin' on Myspace and Xanga! This shit is what I do. But, yah It just feels like a breakup. Watching it change before your eyes into something that you just can't even interact with for the sake of yourself. My show in Oakland is coming up. I haven't performed in like 10 years LOL! I am so nervous. Even thinking about it makes me feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack! Hate that for me fr. Anyways, def having dopamine withdrawal from no reels! LOL! People need to be honest with themselves and be like YO I AM FRIED! I AM FRYING MY RECEPTORS! I AM LOSING ALL MY GREY MATTER! or whatever. So, I dont know.. I don't know how to live without social media but, I also don't even miss it personally I just think my neurons do.
date: -- 6/15/25 --
mood:nervous
watching: " 90 Day fiance season 11 (it sucks)
Yoo. This has been rough lately. Sometimes I feel like I have a big giant dookie sitting on top of my head constantly and I can't get it off. Like you know what you have to do but, you simply can't do it. If someone was in my shoes I would be telling them the master plan and helping them get it done. But, why is it too hard to do yourself? Maybe I need something like an at home electric chair. That sounds nice. I been on a huge doom scroll. I am watching the internet that was once my safe space just fade away... actually more like EXPLODE IN A FIRE BALL. Omg, I just scrolled back to my old entries and wow. I am not having FUN online! Even the spaces I try and make are just stressful. I'm somewhere inbetween wanting to disappear online and wanting to totally share my inner most depths. I have a really insane project I want to work on. So, yea! Maybe, I just need to slam my head against the wall until I just fuckin' get it :)
date: -- 4/15/25 --
mood:spooky
song: " LIFE IN THE THIRTIES " 1930s DOCUMENTARY FILM PART 2 PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT SECOND TERM
Sometimes I can't believe it. Well, I can! The second I open my eyes I seem to absorb this stuff. Personally I am overcome by the urge to make people less extreme and in that way I become extreme myself. I am extremely scared at the rate of speed people store what is "true". Not even 'in a question everything' way or in a 'do your research' way. Just 100% accepting truth in .2 seconds, storing it and even worse... SHARING IT! Worst part being the context of which we are believing to be true. It's never about something silly like "The ocean is turning PINK!". Mostly and almost always it's something segregative and polarizing. I've even seen AI content using ragebait to incite tensions between cultures, races, sexes, ages, EVERYTHING! It's crazy to think a simple 30 second video online could spark a world war or breed violent hate crimes or just change society. Sadly, I see this power used constantly in a selfish, narcissistic, dangerous, dividing, poorly researched and articulated way. Almost like, we should believe the professionals but, what does that even mean anymore. When we live in a double-edged sword society, what is right and wrong? Well, seems like people know for sure and they won't ever think to bend on it.
date: -- 03/30/25 --
mood: cooked/beyond
song: Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown Marathon
Yoooooo Bet you didn't think I'd be here well I am. I am so bored of the internet lately. UGH! I also any just tired of the internet SHOWING ME things instead of me finding things I like. I get thisbullshit handed to me on a plate! LAME! I need to seek the truth! I just finsihed re doing the smile.rip site but, tbh I already wanna change it up! I have been suffering but; to live is to suffer. Though I am alone in my mental. You understand life is a punch to the gut no matter what. Well thats about it I just wanted to come through and say Hi! and that I am always on the looking around. Gonna be dropping some CD's very very soon! Byeeee!
date: -- 09/20/24 --
mood: agitated
song: Princess Loko & Tommy Wright III - Street Shit (Osc Kins Edit) RIP LOKO - Osc Kins
WASSUP BITCHES! I'm back for you to tweak out on! Yall, I get it the gangstalkers can't get enough of the girl wowowowow. I was reading my old entries and I was like damn always whining about some shit. So boring! NOT LIKE i GOT MUCH MORE TO SAY NOW but, guess what? CHICKEN BUTT! lmao damn, I got yo ass. My b-day is in 4 days but, I literally don't know what I am gonna do. I am gonna wing it. Chicken wing it! LOL! Nah maybe, I'll go to Vegas or something! Then wtf if someone sex traffics me and I go die... hellllll nah. You scared me! Well, I don't wanna get too personal on here honestly, I'll just fuckin' go on rants but, I don't have a rant right now because, I was just fuckin' around with the website! Anyways, anyone got some good meth recipes?
mood:fucked
watching: Caspa & Rusko - FabricLive. 37 (Dubstep) (2007)
Do you miss me? I am taking a break from IG right now because, it has my whole entire brain! It was like 4 days in a row where it was just really bad reels and I would just keep looking and looking for a good one but, I would just end up spending hours on it lmao. The other day someone asked 'What you been watchin' and I was straight up like 'I been watching reels only' because, its the fucking truth! I'm not reading or watching any of those shows or movies. (I'm actually binging the 2007 90210 rn and it's SO GOOD) but, anyways. I think people don't wanna be honest with their internet addiction sometimes. I will say it straight up I have a problem but, the internet has ALWAYS been my hobby/life. I was literally poppin' on Myspace and Xanga! This shit is what I do. But, yah It just feels like a breakup. Watching it change before your eyes into something that you just can't even interact with for the sake of yourself. My show in Oakland is coming up. I haven't performed in like 10 years LOL! I am so nervous. Even thinking about it makes me feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack! Hate that for me fr. Anyways, def having dopamine withdrawal from no reels! LOL! People need to be honest with themselves and be like YO I AM FRIED! I AM FRYING MY RECEPTORS! I AM LOSING ALL MY GREY MATTER! or whatever. So, I dont know.. I don't know how to live without social media but, I also don't even miss it personally I just think my neurons do.
date: -- 6/15/25 --
mood:nervous
watching: " 90 Day fiance season 11 (it sucks)
Yoo. This has been rough lately. Sometimes I feel like I have a big giant dookie sitting on top of my head constantly and I can't get it off. Like you know what you have to do but, you simply can't do it. If someone was in my shoes I would be telling them the master plan and helping them get it done. But, why is it too hard to do yourself? Maybe I need something like an at home electric chair. That sounds nice. I been on a huge doom scroll. I am watching the internet that was once my safe space just fade away... actually more like EXPLODE IN A FIRE BALL. Omg, I just scrolled back to my old entries and wow. I am not having FUN online! Even the spaces I try and make are just stressful. I'm somewhere inbetween wanting to disappear online and wanting to totally share my inner most depths. I have a really insane project I want to work on. So, yea! Maybe, I just need to slam my head against the wall until I just fuckin' get it :)
date: -- 4/15/25 --
mood:spooky
song: " LIFE IN THE THIRTIES " 1930s DOCUMENTARY FILM PART 2 PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT SECOND TERM
Sometimes I can't believe it. Well, I can! The second I open my eyes I seem to absorb this stuff. Personally I am overcome by the urge to make people less extreme and in that way I become extreme myself. I am extremely scared at the rate of speed people store what is "true". Not even 'in a question everything' way or in a 'do your research' way. Just 100% accepting truth in .2 seconds, storing it and even worse... SHARING IT! Worst part being the context of which we are believing to be true. It's never about something silly like "The ocean is turning PINK!". Mostly and almost always it's something segregative and polarizing. I've even seen AI content using ragebait to incite tensions between cultures, races, sexes, ages, EVERYTHING! It's crazy to think a simple 30 second video online could spark a world war or breed violent hate crimes or just change society. Sadly, I see this power used constantly in a selfish, narcissistic, dangerous, dividing, poorly researched and articulated way. Almost like, we should believe the professionals but, what does that even mean anymore. When we live in a double-edged sword society, what is right and wrong? Well, seems like people know for sure and they won't ever think to bend on it.
date: -- 03/30/25 --
mood: cooked/beyond
song: Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown Marathon
Yoooooo Bet you didn't think I'd be here well I am. I am so bored of the internet lately. UGH! I also any just tired of the internet SHOWING ME things instead of me finding things I like. I get thisbullshit handed to me on a plate! LAME! I need to seek the truth! I just finsihed re doing the smile.rip site but, tbh I already wanna change it up! I have been suffering but; to live is to suffer. Though I am alone in my mental. You understand life is a punch to the gut no matter what. Well thats about it I just wanted to come through and say Hi! and that I am always on the looking around. Gonna be dropping some CD's very very soon! Byeeee!
date: -- 09/20/24 --
mood: agitated
song: Princess Loko & Tommy Wright III - Street Shit (Osc Kins Edit) RIP LOKO - Osc Kins
WASSUP BITCHES! I'm back for you to tweak out on! Yall, I get it the gangstalkers can't get enough of the girl wowowowow. I was reading my old entries and I was like damn always whining about some shit. So boring! NOT LIKE i GOT MUCH MORE TO SAY NOW but, guess what? CHICKEN BUTT! lmao damn, I got yo ass. My b-day is in 4 days but, I literally don't know what I am gonna do. I am gonna wing it. Chicken wing it! LOL! Nah maybe, I'll go to Vegas or something! Then wtf if someone sex traffics me and I go die... hellllll nah. You scared me! Well, I don't wanna get too personal on here honestly, I'll just fuckin' go on rants but, I don't have a rant right now because, I was just fuckin' around with the website! Anyways, anyone got some good meth recipes?